Sunday, January 30, 2011

Arabian Daze

It has been a couple of days since I have been seeing the reports of the unrest in Tunisia, Egypt and nearly all of the Arab world on the first page of the newspaper. Yes, believe it or not I read the newspaper as well, besides watching TV and thinking about sex. It is completely beyond my understanding as to why they are revolting. My opinion of the Arabs is just like any other Indian Pappu's. It goes somewhat like this.

The Arab world, is a land of sheiks in flowing white nightgowns with their women in flowing black nightgowns . There is no water in the desert lands, but strangely, if you strike the ground it spouts black gold. This makes the sheiks filthy rich. Rich enough for greedy and unemployed Malayalee omanakuttys, poor Philipino Chinese, Bangladeshi Pakis and other poor people of other nationalities to work as household help, cab drivers, engineers etc. etc. 
Besides oil, the Arabs pay attention to only one thing and that is religion. Or rather religions. That is, besides their own religion, they pay attention to the people of any and every other religion and brand them 'Kuffars' or 'Infidels'. Apart from this, I know that they drink camel milk. I am also curious as to how many of the Arabs will turn up if I go to a crowded Arab market and shout out for 'Mohamed'. I know my analysis of the Arabs is accurate.

Anyway, the newspaper reports said something about a 'Mohamed' who is Tunisian, a fruit stall wallah and he immolated himself because his fruit stall was shut down by a female Government servant. Mohamed was high on debt and did not have any other means to survive, so he immolated himself. This, apparently, was the last straw. The Tunisian people revolted against their dictator leader and sent him packing to Saudi Arabia. This, was because they believed that the leader (His name is quite difficult to type and pronounce) is responsible for corruption, unemployment and hunger in their country.

I was like, wow. The death of a fruit stall vendor leads to a country (CountrieS, to be precise.) erupting in revolt! How cool is that! Following the example of Mohamed fruitstallwalla, other Mohamed's and Ali's in other Arab countries started immolating and electrocuting themselves. This led to protests in Algeria, Egypt, Yemen, Libya, Jordan, Mauritania and other Arab countries. I never even knew there were these many Arab countries to start with.

Here in India, corruption is so rampant that we accept it as we accept the task of visiting the loo daily. I don't know about fruit stall vendors, but we hear of farmer suicides on a fortnightly basis. Nobody bothers as long as we get our roti, daal and subzi at reasonable prices. And when the prices of roti, dal and subzi go through the roof, we blame Sonia and Mannu at the centre and then we go to office and make a friend pay for lunch. Ha. How clever we are!

The Arabs are idiots. Why go to all those lengths, protesting and all. Learn the eternal truth from the infidels, you stupid Arabs. Today you are being raped by one Mohamed/Ali/Husain, the minute you send him off, another Mohamed/Ali/Husain will ravage you. Then another fruit vendor will kill himself and then there will be protests and then.... get the drift? 

They should follow the Indian system, these Arabs. Blame the Mohamed or Ali at the head of the Government and then go to work. God will take care of the rest. Inshallah, as they say in the Arab world.

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