Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Nira Radia and the art of Aural sex.

A sex-obsessed common Indian Pappu like me needs different forms of entertainment. I am so bored of conventional porn and conventional women (more porn than women, I admit.) That two of the great joys of my life- Sex and masturbation, have become alarmingly mundane. From the front, from the behind, twosomes, threesomes, foursomes, multiple-somes, MILF's, teens, oral, bondage, black, Latina, Asian, Indian (yuck!) nothing excites me anymore.

This was until I heard the Niira Radia tapes. I have tried phone sex, but never have I found the aural sex so exciting. I could hardly stop touching myself in intimate places- one intimate place, to be exact- after hearing Niira madam's voice in those very public YouTube videos. There is something about the controlled, mature voice of a woman in a commanding position which makes you want to have a romp in bed with her. Like NOW! Like PRONTO! Just listen to her persuasive tone punctuated with her 'ooh' and 'dear me' and 'gosh' and you will get exactly what I am trying to say.

As far as what was being said in those videos, well how does it affect me? I am a common Indian man. I need my paisa-vaisa, beer-sheer, chicken-shicken and sex-vex (whenever opportunity permits) and porn-shorn (whenever opportunity does not permit). 

Ok, Ok. it does affect me, but I am a common Indian man, how do you expect me to understand what is exactly being spoken in those videos? That is high-level conversation, for heavens' sake! Besides the silky, distracting voice of the sexy Radiaji, it has big names being uchhalo-fied. What does a common man have to do with Ratan Tata's dealings, Mukesh Ambani's court case and the Dalit leader A.Raja and his 2G scam after all? I mean, didn't we know that these people were doing hanky-panky at all the important places already. After all, we didn't even leave out fodder and soldiers' coffins when we were given the opportunity to whisk away some money from that impotent tax exchequer of ours. Then a 2G spectrum allocation is a multi-crore opportunity to ravage the exchequer and the public collectively in their respective behinds! For that amount, any Pappu of this country would be willing to sell himself. And really, did we need the tapes to know that A.Raja had allocated 2G spectrum licenses to dubious parties at dubious prices? Do we need to listen to the tapes to know that allocation of portfolios in the Parliament is a bitchy, unfair, nepotistic practice which does not have anything to do with the abilities of the Ministers in question. Do we need these tapes to realize that the common Pappu of India is being royally fucked by the people with influence and power?

 The only thing we do find out is that the media is bedfellows with politicians and business tycoons. As the politicians and tycoons go about their perverted orgy with Radiaji being passed around, the media throws a nice sheet over it all. We already knew what was going on behind the sheet. We didn't know exactly who was throwing the sheet, now we do. So what are we going to do now? Watch DD news? Naaaah! That's more boring than white trash porn from the US of A.

Listen to the audio below. In the first few moments, Niira ji is PANTING (apparently after getting off the treadmill). Very arousing!

And here, she flirts with Ratan Tata himself (I find that oddly arousing.) and chides him for not inviting her to a black tie event where she can wear her Roberto Cavalli gown. Radiaji, give me a chance, I would love to take you to a lot of events where you can wear the gown if you want, though it may be a hindrance at times. I am very accommodating.